Communication - Can you hear me now??

"Can you hear me now?  No??...too bad."

Isn't that what you wanna say to some people when you are trying to talk to them.  It's funny because when you ask people something like that they usually answer you.  And if the answer is no...uh they must've been able to hear you because they answered you. DUH.

Interesting is communication between husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend or any committed relationship.  Communication and its effectiveness all depends on mood.  If you're already in an agitated state then the warning lights should go off.  This is where the 'pushing of buttons' comes into play.  When in a normal mood or even better yet a good mood, communication is so easy and effortless.  But anything other than that everything takes some work.

Patience also comes into play.  When you are the one who is agitated it's very easy to lose all patience and not look at things from any other perspective than your own.  It is difficult to say the least.

Arguments are forms of communication. However they usually involve RAW emotions and lead to much worse things.  Arguments are not a win/lose kind of thing.  A lot of folks think "oh, I won that argument"...well you really don't win; you just were able to get out your perspective of what you were talking about you are finished with what you had to say on it.  The other person was nice enough to either understand or even just let you finish venting 'at their expense".  We are all the person who wants to "win" the situation but feel bad because usually the other person either looks like they have become the 'punching bag' or they feel bad because we have made them to feel that they are the reason we feel awful in the first place (which is usually not the story to begin with).

There are many circumstances in which this does and does not apply don't get me wrong.  Some time there are 2 people who are just out to win the argument and that is when people end up going to bed angry, break up, etc.

It's hard to see things from the outside in when you are in the middle of it.  Sometimes you do catch your breath but most of the time you don't.  IF  you in fact do, remember a short time after the battle of words is over you usually forget what it was about anyways.

Once you've said your piece, let it go.  Move on.  Don't fester with it, unless you like to make others feel awful or you are into fighting.  You'll find yourself more alone than you care to be.

And to the peace makers hang in there...it's all worth it in the end.