Hospital Stay Journal Entry: Tuesday, March 3, 2009

HAPPY 32 Weeks!!!! We made a first big goal!!! YIPPEE. My PM nurse from the night before (Heather) made my white board all decorated with stuff congratulating the day. My AM nurse Jennifer thought it was so great too. Dr Co got a chuckle out of it and was so happy to see me reach this milestone. When I actually woke up, it was because of the b!#ch from the lab sticking me and bruising my arm, she treated me like I was stupid and that really pissed me off. (Not a way I usually like to wake up) At least my AM nurse and Dr cheered me up for the morning. My Mom called on Skype this morning, she was rather down and a bit concerned about Bill and his health. I told her if she was really concerned then she needed to call an ambulance for him. She did, but then he refused to go. She got upset and as a result, I got made and then REALLY upset. Today was the first time I actually felt trapped in this room. I am helpless to offer support to anyone other than verbally through my webcam or email/chat message. My day started out kinda cheery and then spiraled into an extremely sad/emotional one. At one point I was on the phone with Dave and I was hysterically crying (for over 30 minutes). My mom is fine, not to worry. But I think with her getting upset and it finally getting to me, all of the pent up frustration and emotion finally made it’s way to the surface and decided to come out at once. I was a basket case. Once I calmed myself down, I just isolated myself from everything. I turned off my phone ringers, turned off the TV and computer and just curled up with my body pillow and laid down for a while. I needed to relax and calm down. This extra stress was certainly the LAST thing I needed, especially for the baby. I didn’t help that the Caps lost again tonight (I actually didn’t really care) and my PM Nurse , Heather kept checking up on me to make sure I was doing ok (I know Dave told her I had a very emotionally low day). I had no problem falling asleep either. Crying so much certainly takes it out of you.